come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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