how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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