Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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