good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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