You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
