I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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