No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
