I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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