You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
