After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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