What a fucking waste of an outfit
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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