Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
did you just send me my own nude
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize