Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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