seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
