im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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