I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
