I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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