He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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