he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
