I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
