You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
