By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
