I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
