I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
