You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she peed on how many people?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
