Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
