I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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