you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
