If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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