its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize