she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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