and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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