I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize