Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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