Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
