I need help removing her.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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