I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
