Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
