I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
