As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
