You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
