dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
