I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
