Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.