He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"