Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.