I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize