This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize