redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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