Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude i feel like shit

(413): View more from Massachusetts

well u did eat a lot of play-doh

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(631): View more from New York

the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama

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(315): View more from New York

idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This gyro tastes like lonliness

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(314): View more from Missouri

The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.

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