i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I am one with the molecules
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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