I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize