we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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