it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
