You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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