just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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