even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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