I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
