I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
