I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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