Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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