I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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