no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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