I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize