does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
