at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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