Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sponge bath it is.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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