There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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