Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
