The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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